This is Samantha's final bow


It was so fun & exciting to watch these children show their stuff! These kids have worked for a long time on their Tae Kwon Do skills.

Fifth Commandment

"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."  - Deuteronomy 5:16

I have to admit that I do suffer from a secular worldview and sometimes have to work to act from a biblical perspective. It is not always readily apparent what is meant by certain principles. Or where the line is drawn. For instance, what exactly is meant by "honor your father and your mother"? Does that mean do whatever your parents say? Does it mean anything your parents want to do is ok? I think we can agree that that is not the case. Can I honor my father and vehemently disagree with him? Can I honor my mother and draw boundaries in our relationship? Are these questions a sign of being schooled in situational ethics?

Anyway, just a thought...

 

Blessings Not Seen

Have you ever prayed for something, longed for something, hoped for something so much that you didn't even notice when you got it? Well, it's been a long time coming now but I think I finally get it.

There has been something I have wanted with my whole heart. At first I blamed others for not getting it. Then I thought that maybe I didn't get it because I didn't really deserve it. But now I realize that while it may not look like I thought it would, I have received the blessing I have been praying for. And no, I still don't deserve it. The limits that I sometimes feel are wrapped around this blessing constraining it are there only of my own making.

This probably makes no sense whatsoever to you. But to me and to my family it makes all the difference in the world!

My Transgressors

There was some scripture I came across while doing Kay Arthur's: Lord, Where are You When Bad Things Happen? bible study. It spoke to God being in complete control of our lives - even that bad parts. That no one can harm us with his permission. I have searched for the specific verse & can't come up with it, If anyone knows please tell me! Otherwise I may be up for days trying to find it.

This particular verse came to mind while I was talking with some friends about a time I was violated. It was a personal violation that became a public one because of the gossipy lips of a fellow "Christian". Unfortunately for me there were consequences in my life from someone else's actions. Knowing that I had behaved correctly, this really urked me - to be wronged in this way. Especially when it was an attack on my good name.

I have forgiven my transgressors. Yet I am still struggling to deal with the consequences of their actions. It seems so wrong for me to pay for such a long time for handling a difficult situation with grace and dignity at every turn. I do have an inkling to ask someone in the middle of it all why it is still an issue, but I also just don't want to go there.

So I am trying to see how, even now that I am so far removed from the cause of harm, how God is using it for my good. And I can. I can see good things  that have come out of me being forced down this road injustly. 

Maybe I am wondering if it is worth it, if the damage will ever be undone.

Psalm 37

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

It seems like so many times when we read verses like this we interpret it to mean, "Act like a good Christian - go to church on Sunday, take your kids to youth group on Wednesdays and find a charity to donate to - and God will give you the ________ (house, car, job, whatever) you are dreaming of.

WRONG!

If you honestly & truly delight in the Lord, your heart's desire will be to do the Lord's work and to treasure the blessings bestowed by Him. Remember, it is about living to glorify our heavenly father, not ourselves.

Put Baby in the Beemer

A Mother Questions Her Goals for Her Children

What do I really want for my children? Seems that if I am going to home educate them I should have some sense of what we want our children to know and what we want our children to prioritize. Should we concentrate on character & obedience before we even start academics? They would likely fall behind, at least for a little while, in some academics. But when their obedience and strong character will help them excel when academics are introduced.

Now, of course, academics are already introduced. I have taught them to read, they can count, Christopher can add and subtract. He's working on fractions & more than v. less than in seconds.

What we skipped was training them to respond and obey the first time. We have also skipped over the through training on some of the behaviors we now expect. So they get frustrated at what they think we want & it seems like too much. We get frustrated because we can't get them to shut up long enough to hear what we are saying. So we are all just a dysfunctional circle of frustration.

Doesn't really sound too biblical, does it?

I know what kind of mommy I want to be. I know what I want my children to be. I want to pass Godly laws & treasures and blessings. I want them to have a strong work ethic and to not be afraid of working hard. And to work hard for the glory of God not because of an immediate pay off. 

But how does one do that? How can I keep cool and basically start from here what I should have established in toddlerhood? I can start correctly from the beginning with Matthew. But A) I am not going to just give up on my older children; and B) if I did do that, that would negate any chance I have of training Matthew properly. 

As I write this I am not in any way passing judgement on any others. Maybe if I get it all together some day then I will have time to pass judgement. Hee hee

I just wonder what our boot camp is going to need to look like. I wonder if hubby & I have it in us to hold strong and win. 

Mainly I am just praying. I tell God that I know what my biblical role as wife and mother is. I know what is expected of me and I know that in some ways I have failed miserably. So I pray to God and ask him to show me how to do this, and mostly for the courage and strength to take it to the finish. If I can get the kids to obey me, then they will learn to follow the Lord in life.

I love the question of what is our goals for our children. Do we care what college they go to? How do we feel about them marrying? What, ultimately, are we raising our kids to do? I think John & I would both say that we want our children to be Christians. Then there are the things I see that I want. I love the idea of being in a family where we play our biblical roles. I love to be John's helpmeet. I love for him to lead our family, to set our path. I want him to be our preacher, profit, provider, and protector.

Funny, getting to where I want to be seems so very hard. And it may be hard. I am sure that life will be filled not with trials so much as opportunities for God to mold me some more. But really, it's quite simple. Open the bible, and then read.

SoI guess I will try that.

The big news in my life right now is the expected birth of my first niece on my side of the family. It will be the first time one of my siblings has had a child. (My husband and I have three kids - age 6 yrs, 4 yrs, and 6 months.) I am the older sister. My brother is two years younger than I. When I was 16 my parents had one last baby, my sister.

As the big sister, one of the fun parts of getting married as well as of the process of pregnancy, childbirth, and raising kids is imaging share some of your experiences and hopefully a little wisdom when your siblings travel down those roads. So far that has not happened for me. Both siblings got married after little planning and I was not involved. And now with baby Pips due, I haven't really been involved in the pregnancy at all. Maybe I should start a blog to share all the little tidbits of advice or info that I would give to them. Such as, Costco is by far the best place to buy diapers. I have compared the Kirkland brand in quality to a top brand and that has led me to believe they are made by the same company. AndI have compared prices even when other places have sales - still can't beat prices.

Are you cool enough to call?

I am all hooked-up, like most of my generation and certainly the one behind us. I have my cell phone with me at all times, for more texting than actual calls. I am not big on being called on my cell phone. I mean, for a very select few people who are my inner circle, which is mostly comprised of family. They can call me on my cell at any time. But when I am off to ballet and then Tae Kwon Do I do not have time to talk to any one of a hundred dumb calls we get on the house phone. And if it weren't for those calls I wouldn't even have a cell phone.

I remember when the mss public got pagers. It so completely irritated me because people felt like it was ok to interrupt you, regardless of what you were doing, and that you were somehow obligated to calling them right back. Like someone I knew who would page me when I was out on a date to get me to bring in ice cream or equally trivial item to her. What in the heck is that about anyway?

Do you know you're going crazy?

What I wonder is this: do crazy people know that they are really going crazy? I mean, we all have off little thoughts. Using a suicidal person as an example. What is going through his/her head as they begin to plan and then start to carry out their suicidal plan. Do they realize, "Oh crap, I'm freakin' suicidal." Does it begin with benign minor thoughts of "This day suck" and "I wish I were just dead" but not really meaning it. Does it continue from there. Like the thought of suicidal crosses you mind and you realize that this time you actually gave it a little real thought. I don't know - maybe the fact that I can't seem to verbalize what I want to say is proof that I ma going crazy. Well, I guess if that happens this blog will become more interesting...  

Migraines or Tension?

Ok, what it the deal with my head? Seriously! I have headaches like every 7 to 10 days and each one last 1 to 3 days each. My poor babies are constantly being dragged to yet another dr appt for mommy. I hate it! And I hate that nobody can help. Nobody can prevent them, no dr can tell me what triggers them, and no one can stop it once it starts. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!